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At the age of 18, I welcomed a beautiful infant male child into the world and became a single parent. During that fourth dimension, I was still learning, growing and healing, non yet enlightened of how mental health and the stigma of being a unmarried mother would bear on my overall well-existence and future.

I wanted to make a better life for me and my son, so I eventually enrolled in college.

At that place are many like me on college campuses — more 1 in five undergraduate students are parents. Although we number nearly four one thousand thousand undergraduates, we are ofttimes ignored or made to feel unwelcome on campus.

Student parents like me face unique stressors, particularly around fourth dimension and money, that many students without children don't feel equally acutely. As a upshot, nearly four in ten student parents have said they recently considered dropping out.

As colleges and universities prepare for a new school year amid the ongoing pandemic, some are rightly concerned nigh the mental health of their students. In order to meet the full needs of their pupil bodies, institutions of college education must prioritize the unique needs of students with children.

Student parents like me confront unique stressors, specially around fourth dimension and coin, that many students without children don't feel as acutely.

Growing upward, I witnessed domestic violence and then experienced forms of corruption immediate as a young adult. Information technology wasn't until I worked at Colorado's wellness department that I developed a unlike understanding of mental well-being and acknowledged my own past traumas. Through self-reflection, I realized that I was living with unprocessed emotions that I masked in order to cope and survive. It was hard for me to admit that I was sad and depressed, but I decided to seek support and take antidepressants to improve my mental health. I needed to focus on myself in lodge to lead my family unit to better outcomes.

As you can imagine, being a single parent, working full-fourth dimension, studying in school for a postsecondary degree and being involved in the community, I stayed busy. I counterbalanced multiple projects, deadlines and thoughts at once. I kept my commitments to my son and schoolhouse, with routines and schedules that kept me organized.

For the most part, I did just fine — my family'due south bones needs were met, and our living situation, work and finances were fairly stable. But I was still feeling sad and found it extremely difficult to reconcile my depression and feet with the fact that we were living comfortably and no longer struggling to brand ends see. I had dealt with extreme levels of stress for years and faced more challenging hardships than balancing school, work and parenthood. I felt guilty for my feelings — it felt like I should accept been happier to not be struggling when about nine in 10 single pupil mothers live in or near poverty.

Related: COLUMN: The Biden presidency could finally mean more assist for student parents

And so Covid-19 arrived. I was non prepared for the mental health challenges I faced during the pandemic. When I found myself in my flat alone with all my thoughts and deadlines, I buckled. At get-go, I felt guilt and shame for feeling broken-hearted and depressed. I sought virtual therapy sessions, simply finding a space to talk to my therapist became a challenge when Leo, my 10-year-old son, would come into my room asking why I was crying.

Single mothers have to extend ourselves to impossible lengths to brand ends meet, and even then, lodge looks down on us equally prime examples of what not to do.

Colleges have a part to play in helping to alleviate some of the hard mental burdens we confront. The first step is acknowledging that nosotros exist. Very few colleges track the parenting status of their students, let lone data most our outcomes or what could support our success.

A 2d step is to train faculty, staff and counselors on the unique needs of student parents. Doing so would assist create the community of support nosotros need to thrive in schoolhouse. In a recent written report, forty percent of pupil parents surveyed indicated that they felt isolated inside their postsecondary journeys. More colleges should create family-friendly spaces and include us in campus orientation materials, making us experience more visible and welcome.

Lesley Del Rio and her son Leo pose for a portrait near their abode in Aurora, CO on Th, Jan. 28, 2020. Credit: Ascend at the Aspen Plant for the "one in 5" podcast

It's amazing the difference it tin can make knowing that your school cares well-nigh your success. I'k proud to say that I recently finished my associate degree with Southern New Hampshire University in partnership with AdvanceEDU. Sometime teachers, co-workers and my AdvanceEDU student success coach helped me feel comfortable in sharing my mental wellness journey. They take been sources of support for me.

I'm committed to ensuring that other student parents get the support they need to thrive. Being strong doesn't shield you from depression and other mental health challenges. I utilise my strength to admit when I'm struggling, to seek help and to share what I've learned. That is what I accept always done with my many experiences every bit a single and one-time teen mother. Although my network of support has shifted throughout my educational journeying, the constant cistron I've experienced is having people who encourage me to show up equally my authentic, multifaceted self.

For student parents, the campus customs is a huge factor in our mental health and academic success. Colleges accept a cardinal role to play in ensuring that their pupil parents go the supports they need to thrive.

Lesley Del Rio graduated in May 2022 with an associate degree from AdvanceEDU , an online platform in partnership with Southern New Hampshire University and other competency-based programs. She is a parent advisor for Ascend at the Aspen Institute's Postsecondary Success for Parents Initiative.

This story about student parents was produced by The Hechinger Report , a nonprofit, independent news organization focused on inequality and innovation in education. Sign upwards for Hechinger's newsletter .

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